Finding My Truth…
For as long as I can remember I have spent countless hours in search of my truth! Who am I really? What is my purpose? Why have I faced such challenge and been tested in the most critical ways? How could I have possibly signed up for this shit… and if I did, what the hell was the purpose were some of the internal talk that filled my sleepless nights!
Then came the dreams of all of the ways in which I could escape, what I would wear, how I would do and what it would feel like to finally be free of the burdens and weight of the little world I had shrunken into to stay out of the light and risk exposure. Truth is that I made it out, I created the biggest and brightest existence ever imaginable. A place that I could rise up in and slip away when ever I wanted, a place where I could rest from all of the soul energy it took to operate,create and cultivating this magical canvas that fairy tales were made of!
The trip was magical, intense and exhausting and then the bottom fell right out of the carriage! I was exposed, raw and completely out of control. I didn’t plan for it to go this way- I was surviving! I didn’t expand to break open so deeply- I was evolving! I didn’t know who I was- I was healing! And that is what my 30’s & 40’s taught me!
When your faced with a clean slate in your emotional life there are only two possible ways to go… courageously forward or backwards into the fire that burnt you for so many years! I chose forward even when at times it was easier to burn in the fires of the emotional hell I knew… cause it was hard to be me, to see me, to feel me and to stand in the power of me… this is where I found my truth and still strive to define everyday!
I tread lightly on the grass of self acceptance, am learning to embrace the power of mattering in the world I have created and lastly I am learning to stand tall in the beauty, strength and acceptance of who I am and the gifts I hold to share with the world!
My truth is my super power, it is my shield, my cape and my sword!
I know longer choose to make myself small to survive or accept that my worthiness is dependant on how much of a sacrifice I make!
Life is not barter, Life is not a punishment or a repent… What life is… is an adventure, an experiment, a lesson and a gift to explore.
Facing your Truth is most often scarier then the Truth itself- But look at it, feel it and find your power within it! It’s totally worth it!
_The Chronicles of Momma Mac- Stories of Expansion 2020