Finding The Peace Inside Panic
My biggest breakdown turned out to be my saving grace & biggest accomplishment!
Growing up in rural Ontario was both a pleasure and a curse… taught the ways of the land, yet trapped in isolation to survive through the life that I had been dealt. I know my mom tried but for me my life was made up mainly of pain, suffering, exposure to addiction and domestic abuse. My role was formed at the tender age of 7 as one of mediator, saviour and survivor. I grew up tough, I grew up fast and I out grew the “wonder years” of my childhood.
It shaped me both into a powerful force and a scared & helpless child longing for a safe place to land. Luckily, my imagination was strong and I truly created a life made up of everything I longed to be real. I met a man, he offered me freedom and I ran claiming to have closed the doors of that childhood behind me never to be spoken of again… or so I thought!
From this launching point I started my career in personal support and coaching within the walls of the local Community Living and shared over 16 years in and out of the variety of programs to support and enable a variety of individuals from youth to adult. Life in my 20’s was filled with firsts. I married that boy, we set out on our own and we created a family that finally brought me the love & connection to fill my empty voids. My career was booming and we were doing well, our family was beautiful and I was fully in control of my life and how I played in it! No one would have ever know that deep beneath this masterpiece was a broken disaster slowly loosing her control on her ability to hide from the internal truths that fate had delivered so long ago! I was involved in so many areas of support and development in the community as a Youth Activation Counsellor and Group Facilitator. I worked within the Catholic Board as a Dream School Facilitator delivering Wellness & Connection programs, run private Youth Exploration Camps and ran the YMCA Youth Music Program out of Waterloo. I was flourishing regardless of what had brought me to this place of a deep need to heal the world. Then the bottom fell out… as I reached my 30’s all of the old monsters started to creep in & the life I was living was filled with panic, anxiety and overwhelm.
After many physical breakdowns, my body took over and knocked me on my ass! PTSD & Panic Disorder and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe and I was broken… wide open! When no other means of treatment was working… I had to stand and face the “giants” of my past… ones that I had so carefully tucked away so many years ago & ones that I thought I had burned and buried! It was all there- it was time to “peel” the onion and address the “wounded child” screaming from the depths of my soul!
The 4 Years that followed were hard, they were wise and they were needed. I found my “Earth Angels” and I battled through to the other side of all that “was” and “had created” my life story up until now…
With the love of my husband, family, friends and supports I rose up from the ashes of my pain and reclaimed that power of my soul for the first time in my life!
I dove deep into teachings, healing and wisdom of many! I honored the paths that brought me here and welcomed the truths of exactly “who” I was and “why” this was only the beginning of my journey in this lifetime to share!
The culture of my people called to be acknowledged and applied along my healing path. Suddenly being “Indigenous” truly took on a whole new level of inner knowing, connection and claim for the fire burning deep and the truth of my soul!
Fast forward to now and I look back to see that my greatest “breakdown” became my greatest “starting point” to a life that I believed was truly out of reach. Mistakes, yeah… I have made a few! Lessons… learned tons! Now I am here to shine, to learn and to empower the healing inside of all of us!
There is magic everywhere when your eyes are opened back up to seeing it… that is the gift of healing from the inside out regardless of what your story dictated you would be!
Fully recovered now and operating on my own terms… in a brand new cloak of honor and power to which I proudly wear. My eyes are clear now, my heart is open, my mind is clean and I am fully showing up in this world to live with the purpose of peace.I have been able to spend the last 3 years truly diving deep to the dimensions of growth and development dedicating time to my healing, recovery, powering up phase!
My pause from my career only opened the door to a brand new understanding and commitment to change the way we look at mental health and learn how to honour the process of healing with fresh new eyes. My experience inside of this world completely opened me to the realization that we need to bridge the gaps inside the system of care and support for all of those deeply rooted in their battles of addiction, mental health and recovery! I have taken back my health- yes, everyday is a process, and I take it in stride! No more meds, just clean healthy wellness choices and remarkable reversals of medical diagnoses caused by being in such a state of pain and suffering for so many years! It’s like a whole body detox & regeneration and I love it! No longer did my story define me, it empowered me to rise up, shine the light and fully see the world through a healed lens of awareness for the first time in my life. Now I truly got the process that brings people to the point of numbing, avoiding and drowning the pain. We can turn this around and I was living proof of that in all forms.
I went back to school again and I educated my self on how to show up in the world using all of my strengths, experience and growth from a “positive” place as an opportunity to learn, to teach, to lead and grow. I completed my certification as a Life & Health Transformation Coach with accreditation from the Coaching Federation of Canada I was fully validated to teach and model the power of self-discovery, awareness & habit transformation. I then sought out my elders from my clan and immersed myself in the deep healing teachings of my anscestors and surrender to the mentorship from my tribal kin too enhance my soul connection and rooted teachings even more.
Who am I …
I am a ” Transformation Healing Coach” showing up to help people “Heal” in their own stories. I speak to the magic that comes with overcoming your biggest obstacles, healing your deepest wounds, finding your peace inside mental health and the importance of claiming the power of voice amongst the stories of silence !
I teach the programs that I know work, I share techniques that I know work, I hear “your” soul cause I did the work and I know all this cause I was there…. in the trenches of life too!
I really hope I get the chance to connect with you on one level or another… as you can see, I offer many opportunities to connect when ever your ready!
The fact that your here, means your ready!!!!
I believe in you beautiful!
See you in Sessions
Heather aka: Momma Mac
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